Mixed Emotions
by miley-avril
Summary: Tony helps Ziva deal with her father's death. Spoilers for "Shabbat Shalom". Tiva fluff.


**I HAVEN'T WRITTEN FOR **_**NCIS**_** IN… WELL, AT LEAST NINE MONTHS. BUT I'VE BEEN WATCHING THE SHOW, AND AM GLAD TO BE BACK. WHILE I HAVE BEEN SPAMMING THE **_**ONCE UPON A TIME**_** FANDOM WITH FICS, MY WRITING HAS DEFINITELY IMPROVED AND I'M EXCITED TO TRY OUT SOME NEW TECHNIQUES HERE. THANKS FOR READING!**

**I DO NOT OWN NCIS. IF I DID, TIVA WOULD HAVE BECOME CANON LAST WEEK.**

Tony watches as Ziva comes rushing into the room, her face mixed with fear, pain, and anger. He knows McGee just told her that her father has died. If it had been any other situation, Tony would've been glad that she had to look at him for confirmation, to know that he is the only one she trusts at this moment. He catches her eye, and wishes he could say something, _anything_, to make this easier. But he can't. And when his partner –his tough as nails crazy ninja chick– lets out an anguished mix between a sob and a scream, his heart twists almost as much as it had when he thought she was dead. Tony wants nothing more than to just rush over and embrace her, but he knows the last thing _she_ wants right now is comfort. For once in his life, Tony is putting someone before him, so he holds himself back. He forces his feet to stay planted to the ground as she hurls herself at her father's body, sobbing. Tony can feel McGee's gaze on him, questioning as to what they should do. Slowly, Tony turns, leading the way out of the house. McGee follows, leaving Ziva by herself to grieve.

It's the last thing he wants to do. He wants to be there for his partner, want to show her how much she means to him. Because she's the most important person to him, he knows her better than anyone else, maybe even herself. He knows she needs to be alone so she doesn't feel like she has to hold anything back, or be embarrassed. Gibbs motions for the two agents to go over to him. They do.

"You two come with me." The usually gruff man says in a quiet voice.

"What about Ziva, Boss? Shouldn't we–" McGee gets cut off.

"She needs to be alone right now, Tim." The use of his first name catches McGee of guard. "We'll come back for her in a little while." With that, Gibbs climbs into the driver's seat, ending the conversation. Tony gets in the passenger side while McGee takes his usual post in the back. Instantly, the missing energy from the fourth person who should be back there is noticed.

"I heard Director Vance's wife got hit. Is that true?" Tony asks.

"She was rushed to Bethesda for surgery fifteen minutes ago." Gibbs answers.

"How bad is it?"

"Bad doesn't begin to cover it." With that, the car once again lapses into silence.

* * *

Tony and McGee give each other nervous glances each time Gibbs ignores his phone. No one really dares to talk. However, McGee whispers,

"Sec Nav's even started calling _me_."

"Well, did you answer?" Tony questions.

"No. I didn't know what to say." Gibbs phone rings again. The silver haired man looks at the caller ID and decides it's no one important enough to talk to. At this point, even the President would be on his 'to be ignored' list. Ducky and Abby tumble through the doors, each wearing a solemn look. Gibbs doesn't even open his arms for the goth. Ducky walks up to stand alongside his friend.

"What happened?" Abby whispers.

"The Director, his wife, Ziva, and her dad were at their house. A shooter opened fire. Eli was dead at the scene… Jackie was a little luckier." Murphy's Law dictates that at that moment, Vance comes through the double doors, his face something of shock and anguish.

"Leon?" Gibbs prods gently. The other man takes a few moments before responding, eyes red, lips quivering, voice shaking,

"She… she didn't make it."

* * *

After hearing the grim news of the Director's wife, everyone except Gibbs had dispersed. Now Tony's sitting in his car while it idles in front of the scene of the crime. He's been gone a little less than two hours, and he hopes by now that Ziva is ready for some sort of human interaction that isn't with a dead person. The crime scene techs have long since left, as well as the younger agents who secure the scene. It seems they kicked Ziva out, since she is sitting on the front steps, her face blank. This scares him; she hasn't been this blank in quite a long time… nearly three years. She hasn't made any acknowledgement that she knows he's there, so he cuts the engine and closes the car door louder than usual, hoping to alert her to his presence before she sees him so as not to scare her. She jumps and looks up, her sad almond eyes meeting his green ones. He crosses the driveway to her in two long strides, and sits on the wooden steps next to her.

"Ziva…" He says softly. He doesn't want to sound pitying, but he wants her to know that he feels for her. Instead of pushing him away, she rests her head on his shoulder. He's glad she doesn't expect him to say anything; he has no idea as to what to say anyway. They sit like this for nearly five minutes, and at some point he snakes an arm around her back and begins stroking her hair.

"I do not know if I should be sad or relieved that he is gone." Ziva says, her tone robotic. "On one foot, he is–" she swallows hard, "_was_, my father and… I do think he loved me, at least a little bit. On the other, he treated me horribly at times. It does not feel right to be glad my father is dead, but it also does not feel right to mourn him." Tony waits a few moments before responding, trying to think of something at least a little intelligent to say.

"That's all true." He says, wishing adamantly that Eli _hadn't_ loved her, just so the situation would be easier to deal with. "And I think that right now, you shouldn't be making decisions about whether you're happy about it or not. And when you do decide, you're going to keep changing your mind." He drops his hand from her hair to rub circles on her back.

"How do you know?" Her voice sounds so small and childlike, Tony's starting to get anxiety himself. He's never seen her quite like this.

"Cause that's how I'm feeling right now about him, too." This time, he can answer immediately and with unfeigned confidence.

"I thought you hated him?" Ziva pulls away to look at him.

"I thought I did, too." He allows himself a small smile, wanting nothing more than to see her lips quirk up just a little. "I guess I don't. I mean, Eli wasn't going to win the 'Father of the Year' award, but you're right. He did love you in his own way, and he was trying to make things right, so, you know… it's kinda hard for me to hate a father who was trying to reconcile with his kid."

"Tony, I know you have mixed feelings about your dad, but _please_ make things right with him. You never know what can happen." She gestures around them. "How is the Director's wife?"

"Dead." He replies. Instead of getting upset, like he expects, she gets up and begins pacing. "Ziva, you should probably sit down…"

"No!" She yells, and kicks the bottom porch step. He jumps up and wraps her into a strong embrace, holding her even as she thrashes about. She beats at his chest trying to get free, all the while exclaiming what Tony assumes to be swears in Hebrew. Finally, she tires herself out, sagging against him and sobbing. He lowers them to the ground, ignoring the coolness of the pavement. Once she's cried herself out (again), he releases her, but only so he can entwine their hands.

"It's gonna be okay, Zi." He brushes a strand of her chocolate curls out of her face. "We're all here for you –Gibbs, Abby, Ducky, McGoo…" the use of their friend's nickname puts a smile on her face.

"I know." She leans her head against his again.

"And Ziva?"

"Mhm?"

"It's hand, not foot. You said 'on one foot'." Tony says with an air of amusement.

"Some things never change." She pulls back and places a tender kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, Tony." He watches as his partner walks over to her mini-cooper, climbs in, and drives away. He watches until her taillights disappear around a corner.


End file.
